The Kingdom Of Fail

2010-07-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

My New Ranting Blog...

2008-12-10T02:31:00.000-08:00

Now, Enough videos and more ranting at The Life Of Frederic...

Let's Get Stupid...

2008-12-01T04:00:00.000-08:00

So you want to show your moves with your homies...

Why is it that there is always camera running when this happen...

This dude makes me want to burn my passport...

This guy is very organized... First the nuts then the face...

Returning the shopping trolley to the shop... What can go wrong...

What amaze me on that one is the reaction of the boys at the bottom of the picture...

Joke Of The Day:
A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon, but when the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule.

So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15. In the door at 5, in the sack at 5:15. This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot.

The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three, and these three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.

One germ said, "I'm going to hide between two toes on her left foot, I don't think the antibiotics will find me there."

A second exclaimed, "I am going to hide behind her right ear, I don't think they'll find me there."

The last germ said, "I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!"

Are You Embarrassed?

2008-11-26T02:00:00.000-08:00

Well these people had to go through surgery so that they can't be recognized in the street. This guy want to spice it up in bed...

To forget the national anthem is one thing but...

You're cute, you're blonde and you don't like water...

There is always one around...

Another classic treadmill...

Joke Of The Day:
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...

Do you have a piece of gum?

The BF (Ball In Face) Files...

2008-11-24T04:16:00.000-08:00

Case #1:

Case #2:

Case #3:

Case #4:

Case #5:

Case #6:

Joke Of The Day:
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"

Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.

"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.

"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

For All Who Think That Drink And Drive Is Okay...

2008-11-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

Listen up... Today I heard that one of the guys I went to school with died. How did he die? Some drunken bastard ran him over with a car. Why did I use the word bastard? Because that cunt was drunk as a skunk. Now, this guy killed him, left a widow with three kids... So before you go and think it is okay to have a few and drive... Watch these and think!!!

IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story (Part Deux).

2008-11-21T02:26:00.000-08:00

#1:

#2:

#3:

#4:

#5:

#6:

Joke Of The Day:
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story.

2008-11-20T04:57:00.000-08:00

Here it goes...
#1:

#2:

#3:

#4:

#5:

#6:

Joke Of The Day:
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

AnyDumb People In The Crowd?

2008-11-19T04:40:00.000-08:00

Well, if not I have a few for you...
I have to confess, I haven't talked to my father for a very, very long time. Why? Because he's an asshole. I guess this kid will not talk to his dad for a while, at least not for the same reason...

The main thing with dumb people is that they have an incredible ability to hurt themselves in the weirdest ways...

It is very easy to recognize when a dumb person is behind the wheel. What amaze me even more is how on hearth they managed to get a driving license...

The problem with dumb people is that when they have a bad idea they think that it is a good idea. Like this one, that is not the best way to avoid paying the toll on the highway...

But the thing that you have to remember about the dumb people is that they are all around us... Beware!!

Joke Of The Day:
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

People Shouldn't Do...

2008-11-18T01:37:00.000-08:00

TV Shows if they can't go down the stairs...

Car pooling when you have a bike...

Cycle when you are blind as a bat...

Tea when they are blondes...

Ride a bike if they are complete morons...

Joke Of The Day:
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

This Is Getting Even Weirder...

2008-11-14T05:30:00.000-08:00

Okay, your wife is blonde... What can you do??

That is something I need to try. C'mon... Sounds fun!!

Okay... I had babies in my life... But that never happened...

This happens to me quite a lot... Well after all I'm French...

Soccer is a game of two halves... Literally...

Joke Of The Day:
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.

The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."

The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"

The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

"How did it go?" the doctor asked.

"Terrible, doctor, terrible."

"Did it not work?"

"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."

"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"

"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

Definition Of Embarrassing Situation...

2008-11-13T04:27:00.000-08:00

Here are a few embarrassing situations...
Check this one out... Live TV, want to look hot and "in"... Well not in the kitchen lady!!

Trying to sell your house? Maybe you need a new estate agent? Call these guys...

That happened to me once. I didn't use the same as this guy. I used the Sun newspaper... That itch a lot!!

I don't think you can beat this one though...

Men, when they want to, can be very creative and then... Totally screw up...

Joke Of The Day:
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids don't eat broccoli!

Summer Is Back!! Well... In Ireland Anyway...

2008-11-12T03:56:00.000-08:00

Seriously... The temperature is great and the sun is shining and all that shit! Dunno what the problem is with this guy... Anger management is so required here!!

This woman is dumb. Sorry to say that but she get caught twice on the same radio show!! Well not on the same day but...

Life can bring the most amazing shit ever...

This guy gets owned in the face but I think the best is the reaction...

Here are a few worst a laugh...

Joke Of The Day:
Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality was that he had three balls. He thought it to be a reproductive abnormality so he wanted to consult a doctor. But he was a little hesitant to present his situation to the doctor. So he tried to explain it to him indirectly. He said, ''Doctor ,if you combine your and my balls, then the result will be five!'' The doctor was amazed to hear that. He stood up and asked the patient, ''You poor guy, have you got only one?''

The Truth Is Out There... I Think...

2008-11-11T04:48:00.000-08:00

Here is how you recognize a bad spot...

This is the best way to get yourself on Youtube...

Do not try this at home... If you do please send the video to me...

Remember the wooden spoon prank? Well here is another version... OUCH!!

I know it is not nice to laugh about disabled people but I had to post this...

Joke Of The Day:
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.

"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

Can You Remember...

2008-11-10T03:58:00.000-08:00

The last time you saw 30 falls in 30 seconds?

The last time you saw a cat chase a mouse?

The last time you saw a cat protecting boobs?

The last time you saw a wannabe model crawling?

The last time you saw a dude make a total arse of himself?

Joke Of The Day:
What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head Nurse!

Dogs, Sea Lion, Chipmunk and... LSD.

2008-11-09T03:25:00.000-08:00

Here are a few dogs on crack...

I'm sorry but this guy had a warning (if you listen closely)...

This guy should have gone to spec saver...

The chipmunk on crack...

This week end there is a trad festival where I live. What is trad? Trad is the short term for Irish Traditional music... Which I fucking hate!!! So there ya go...

Joke Of The Day:
Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
A: A new bar

A Few Tears In Your Eyes On This Miserable Saturday...

2008-11-08T04:10:00.000-08:00

First I need to congratulate a visitor from Beamsville Ontario, Canada who was my 1000Th hit yesterday at 16:58 GMT. You won nothing!! (After all I ain't Mother Theresa)

When Moma is having a bad day... She IS having a bad day!!

These are the main reasons I like bowling. Well these and the silly shoes...

They are ungrateful, messy, somewhat impolite, annoying but... You have to love kids...

Gymnastics is a sport of grace, agility and failures...

Joke Of The Day:
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"

What Is Funnier Than Funny? Maybe This...

2008-11-07T02:04:00.000-08:00

Hey!!! Look at me!!! I'm gonna fail!!

Here is a few funny things that can happen in the bathroom...

Obama is the next in line... Hope he won't be funny as this one...

Did I mention that the following six goal keepers have been fired?

I don't know what is worst... The pain of the fall or the pain of being watch by 1000's...

Joke Of The Day:
One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow.

"What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified.

"Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."

What Is Failure?

2008-11-06T02:48:00.000-08:00

Failure can happen when trying the back flip trick...

Failure can be a drunk in the park...

Failure can occur when jumping sea water...

Most of the time failure happen while skate boarding...

But failure can also happen in the US Air Force...

Jumping water is a big low down...

Joke Of The Day:
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.

"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."

"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."

"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."

A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald -- the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton -- the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert -- you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."

What Is Worst Than One Idiot? A Bunch Of Them!!

2008-11-05T03:37:00.000-08:00

The Idiot on roller blades...

The Idiots and the fridge...

Now take a bunch of Idiots and send them to the UK police force...

The well paid soccer Idiot....

And here is a bouquet of Idiots...

Joke Of The Day:
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"

The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"

Can Anyone Beat These??

2008-11-04T02:26:00.000-08:00

So it's Sunday night and you go to the ball game and...

Do you remember that guy... Bill Cosby? I think it is time for him to be interned...

This is a message to you cute women... Do not take your mobile phone in the bathroom!!

Hm... Here is some clever piece of condom...

Who needs enemies when you got friends like them??

Well I guess the son will always remember Dad being stupid...

Joke Of The Day:
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''

''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''

Here Comes Monday Again!!!

2008-11-03T02:45:00.000-08:00

Well some babies are just sitting around doing fuck all just looking cute but not this one...

You can send this one to your male friends!! Britney having it!! Not...

This must be most embarrassing situation ever...

Here is the ultimate proof that dogs are more intelligent than cats... Take that cat lady!!!

This is exclusive!! The new Taliban training center!!!

Joke Of The Day:
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

Today Is Weirdoes Sunday!!

2008-11-02T02:58:00.000-08:00

Dunno what's wrong with these two but today I dedicate this post to idiots and weirdoes...

Hm... I hope this wasn't his helicopter...

I don't know what to think of this... Make your own judgement on that one...

To tell you the truth this happened to me once. I was in a train and the guy in front of me was doing weird shit... Couldn't stop laughing!!

What are you staring at?? Errrrr.....

Joke Of The Day:
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.

"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."

Happy Halloween!! Here Are A Few Scary Ones...

2008-10-31T04:04:00.000-07:00

Well this guy should learn how to chose is friends a bit better...

This has to be a man worst nightmare...

Here is a sea elephant buttseck... I know it's fucking weird...

This is gross!! The shit tank upstairs blew up...

Happy birthday guys!!! You sure will never forget that one!!

Joke Of The Day:
A young boy comes down to breakfast one morning. His mother asks, "Have you done your chores yet?"

"No," replies the boy, "but could I have breakfast first?"

"You know the rules, go outside and clean the chicken coop, milk the cow and feed the pigs."

The boy goes down to the chicken coop and lazily cleans it. When he is finished he he kicks a chicken. Next, we walks to the barn and takes out the old milking cow. After milking her thoroughly, he kicks her. Then the boy gets the food and feeds the pigs. Once he is done he kicks a pig.

Finally, the boy runs back to his house, very hungry. His mother gives him a plate with nothing on it but an apple. Disappointed, the boy says, "Where's my eggs, my milk and my sausage?"

"Well," says his mother, "I saw you kick a chicken, so now you don't get eggs. I saw you kick the cow, so now you don't get milk. I saw you kick the pig, so now you don't get any sausage."

Just then, the boy's father walks in and kicks the cat. The boy says to his mother, "Should I tell him now, or do you want to?"

The Beautiful Worl Of Weirdness And Failure...

2008-10-30T06:09:00.000-07:00

I don't know who invented that toy but if I was a kid getting this for Xmas I would shoot my parents when I get to 18 years old...

If you want to show off at a picnic that is not the way to do it...

Ahhh... The first snow... So romantic and beautiful... So white... So clean... So fucking dangerous!!

I think this is the best way to lose friends...

Those are supposedly talking dogs... Personally I think that the owners should forget the big fat ones... Just keep to the booze!!

Joke Of The Day:
A man walks out of a bar totally hammered, only to be greeted by a snobby woman. She takes one look at him.

"You, sir, are drunk!"

"And you ma'am, are ugly. But when I wake up, I will be sober!"

What Can We Learn From Commercials...

2008-10-29T03:11:00.000-07:00

That root beer might be the solution against alcoholism?

That Daddy might not be the best driver instructor?

That graffiti can help medicine?

That elders knows best?

That there is a very good reason why Indians have such white teeth?

Joke Of The Day:
Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, “I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enough that he just gave away a huge portfolio.” The next guy said, “I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari.” The third guy says, “I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.”
Just as the third guy finishes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, “What are you guys talking about?'
“Just about how good our sons are doing,” the three men replied. “Well, my son is doing very well,” says the fourth man, “He's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home.”

Meeting People Is Good But...

2008-10-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Meeting things sometimes sucks...
Like meeting a golf cart...

Meeting some ice...

Or maybe a piece of wood...

Meet the pole...

And a wee bit of tarmac for dessert...

Joke Of The Day:
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

We Changed Time... And I'm Feckin lost Again!!!

2008-10-27T04:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, let's start with a few farts...

Here is a remix of the kid who go nuts at Xmas...

This is why YOU HAVE TO LEARN English!!

Well the race for presidency is on and McCain is getting down with the brown...

This is why you should chose the company you fly with very carefully...

Joke Of The Day:
The game of choice for unemployed people or maintenance level workers is basketball.

The game of choice for front line workers is football.

The game of choice for middle management is tennis.

The game of choice for CEOs and executives is golf.

Conclusion: The higher up on the corporate ladder you are, the smaller your balls are.

Alanis Morissete Is A Moron....

2008-10-25T03:13:00.000-07:00

Seriously... She is... She has that song... Can't remember it... Hm... Oh yeah!! Ironic... That is the title... Here are a piece of lyrics:
"A traffic jam when you're already late"
How the fuck is that ironic?? There is always a fucking traffic jam when you're late you tart!!
Let see that piece of genius:
"It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife"
Who the fuck has 10,000 spoons in his/her kitchen?? I was talking to a few people about that last night and some clever bitch said "But it is a metaphor...", fuck you!!! The song say "It's like ten thousand" so it's not a metaphor but a similarity, you double twat!!
As you can see I'm in a great mood today!
Here is a drunk squirrel:

It is soon Halloween, here you can get your costume...

Is it just me or fighting rabbits look very gay??

Have you seen the movie "Titanic"? If not, here is a quick recap...

Hm... I'm in a bad mood... Maybe I should try this...

(Short But Sweet) Joke Of The Day:
Dad: Son, if you don't stop masturbating you will go blind.
Son: Dad, I'm over here.

The Friday Fire Cracker...

2008-10-24T02:02:00.000-07:00

For some reasons airport security isn't that difficult job after all...

Well this guy will start knitting very soon...

The new philosophy... This got me in tears!!

Tesco Vs ASDA...

Joke Of The Day:
A little girl went to the barber with her dad and was standing by the barber's chair eating a Twinkie. The barber said, "Sweetie, you are going to get hair on your twinkie." The little girl said,"Yes, I know, and I am going to get boobs too."

I Will Be The Next US President!!!

2008-10-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

Don't believe me? Well check it there yourself....
Here!!

Ok, so yesterday I moved in my new place which would explain why there was no post. Still sorting out things around, need broadband... So here is a few funny pics...
The Pleased streaker WTF...

The massive dong WTF...

The rubber chicken WTF...

The weird fish WTF...

I'm using a 3G modem and it is shite... Will get back with broadband... Or maybe post from an hotel while waiting for eircom to move their asses...

Some Friday Weirdness...

2008-10-17T01:15:00.000-07:00

This is to show that friendship is way over rated...

If you suck at Karate just don't do it!!

The truth about Indian people... Thank you come again...

I have to say that guy is so annoying that he deserves what he gets...

Who would have believed that swearing could be so rewarding...

Remember the song "Wipe Out"?

Joke Of The Day:
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third!

The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS. The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00.

The next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains, and let it go. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day.

Who's Having The Last Laugh?

2008-10-16T01:59:00.000-07:00

Here is a dude that so need anger management... With subtitles...

I know that a job is a job but seriously...

A good old bunch of idiots...

Private car park at his best...

This what I call job dedication...

This is a new maneuver... Need sound...

Joke Of The Day:
A ventriloquist had just finished his polack joke routine when a huge, drunk polack confronted him, ''I'm sick of your polack jokes and I'm going to knock the shit out of you.'' ''I'm sorry, it was all in good fun,'' replied the comedian. The polack retorted, ''I was talking to little asshole on your knee."

The Truth About Men...

2008-10-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

Men are very afraid of women... (Is he saying what I think he is saying??)

Want to please a man? Give him beer...

Men are always up for a good ride...

Men like to show off...

Men Like birds, even the weird ones... Well maybe not that one...

So, ladies, if you want to seduce a man, remember what they like...

Joke Of The Day:
Q: What do you call a woman with no asshole?

A: Divorced.

You Will Feel Their Pain...

2008-10-14T01:37:00.000-07:00

Now this guy has a lot to answer for... What on earth was he thinking of??

Now, since I started that site I have seen some idiots but that one... Just watch...

Drinking games can lead to catastrophe...

That is what happen when you put an idiot behind the wheel...

Video games are okay... As long as you remember that they arejust games...

Take two russians, one bottle of vodka and a bike...

How not to make yourself a name on TV...

Joke Of The Day:
The Perfect Dump -- Every once in a while, each of us experiences a perfect dump, it's rare, but a thing of beauty in all respects. You sit down expecting the worst, but what you get is a smooth sliding, fartless masterpiece that breaks the water with the splashless grace of an expert diver. But that's not the end of it. You use some toilet tissue only to find that it was totally unnecessary. It makes you feel that all is right with the world and you are in perfect harmony with it.

The Beer Dump -- Talk about nasty dumps. Depending on the dumper's tolerance, the beer dump is the end result of too many beers. it could have been 2 or 22, it doesn't matter. What you get is a sinister, lengthy, noisy dump accompanied by a malevolent fog that could close a bathroom for days.

The Chili Dump - Hot when it goes in, and rocket fuel when it leaves. The chili dump stays with you all day, making your tush feel like a heat shield.

The Cable Dump -- Long, curly and perfectly formed like 2 feet of E13 telephone CO-axial cable. It loops lazily around the bowl, like a friendly serpent. You wonder admiringly, ''DID I DO THAT? Where did it come from?'' you leave the bathroom pleased with yourself.

The Latrine Dump -- In case you didn't know, a latrine is a hole in the ground with a tent around it where soldiers, boy scouts and flies go to dump. Tip: Don't ever, ever look in the hole.

The Mona Lisa Dump -- This is the masterpiece of dumps. It's as perfectly formed as it can be. Delicate and slender with intricacies that would make da Vinci weep. And just think, you made it yourself. You may even want to break out the Polaroid, but maybe that's going a bit too far.

The Empty Roll Dump -- You're done...you reach for the toilet paper only to discover that empty cardboard cylinder. A mild panic begins coldly in your throat. You could use the curtains...no, someone would say ''Where are the curtains?'' Then what would you say? The rug?...too cumbersome. Then you must come to the same conclusion that every ''empty roll dumper'' must face...Pull up your slacks, tighten your tush and wriggle yourself to the nearest full roll.

The Splash-Back Dump -- You send the dump on its way, it drops like a depth charge into the bowl creating a column of cold bowl water that washes your bottom with a startlingly unpleasant shock. Now you're wet and embarrassed. Tip: Blot instead of wiping.

The Aborted Dump -- You are in mid-dump when the phone rings. What do you do? ABORT! Pinch it off, go for the phone, and save the rest for later. It isn't pretty, but you've gotta do what you gotta do.

The Alfresco Dump -- Everyone has had to go outdoors from time to time. This can be a rather pleasant experience really. The open air, the nature, and a good bush all contribute to the peaceful ambiance that our primitive forefathers must have enjoyed. What can screw up this harmonious interlude is a troop of Brownies or a patch of poison ivy.

The Childbirth Dump -- This is a dump that is simply too big to go through the aperture provided by nature for the purpose. You sit there, thinking over your dilemma. First it hurts, and it isn't going to get any better. You wonder if you'll ever see your loved ones again. You imagine the newspaper headlines screaming ''Man dies trying to hatch monster loaf.'' You realize you'll have to resolve the crisis before you can leave the bathroom. Basically there are only three things you can do: Scream, call an Obstetrician, or just hope like hell have enough Vaseline to get you through it.

The Tijuana Trot Dump -- The phrase ''Shit Happens'' really applies here in a big way. When the ice in your tainted margarita makes contact with your lower intestinal tract, the fun begins. For the next 72 hours you'd be better off if you carried your own portable toilet with you because you will spend most of that time on the pot and the rest of the time in a fetal position. Now you realize why Mexico never had a navy.

The Machine Gun Dump -- You're just sitting there in a state of sublime peace when all of a sudden you emit a group of noisy gassy bursts that break the silence like machine gun fire. The guy in the next stall hits the floor like a combat veteran, cradling his umbrella like an M16 and shrieking something about “damn Commies.”

The Sound Effect Dump -- You feel a noisy one coming on. Relatives, friends or work mates are within earshot, so you must employ some clever techniques to cover the disgusting sounds you are about to emit. Timing is obviously very important here. At the precise moment of release, try the following sound effects: flush the toilet, sing the first two stanzas of your national anthem, or drop a handful of quarters on the floor

The Security Dump -- You have enough on your mind when you're in the bathroom without worrying about a lockless door and someone bursting in to find you in mid-dump mode. So how can you prevent this embarrassing spectacle from taking place? One way is to strategically place your foot against the door. If you can't reach to do this... hum loudly.

The Cling-On Dump -- For the most part you've completed your dump, but there's one little morsel that refuses to drop off. You're getting impatient. Someone else wants to use your stall. So, you grip the seat with both hands and wriggle, twist and pump but that last little stubborn piece just hangs there, suspended, clinging like a canned peach between you and the bowl water. Maybe the person pounding impatiently on the door has scissors.

The Houdini Dump -- You go, then you stand up to flush, and the darn thing has disappeared. Where'd it go? Did it creep down the pipe? Did you dream the whole thing? Is it lurking out of sight? Should you wipe...maybe you should just to make sure you went. Should you flush? You'd better, because if you don't, you know it will reappear and smile at the next person who comes in.

The Flu Dump -- You feel so bad that you don't know which end of you to put down first. You have roaring cramps, so you sit down. Then a wave of nausea rolls over you like a cold fog, so you stand up and cramps squeeze your intestines like a vice so you sit down again...up down up down. Don't you wish Mom were close by?

The Porta-Pottie Dump -- Construction workers and outdoor concert goers will tell you about going in a portable toilet. My best description would be, “It's like taking a shit in an upright coffin.” It's claustrophobic and it smells bad... best advice... go in a paper cup.

The Proctologist Dump -- In the beginning, the Lord created the earth, the sky and the firmament, but I hope he didn't create this dump, because there is nothing biblical about it -- you run out of gas. That's right, you run out of propulsion. The dump is right there at the end of your barrel and refuses to go any further. You grunt, you squeeze, you wriggle but it just stays there like a lump of lead. You've only got two choices here. One is to squeeze the damn thing back up your intestine and wait until next time. The other is to pretend you're a proctologist and go after it yourself. Not a pretty picture is it??

The Whole Roll Dump -- No matter how much you wipe, it doesn't seem to be enough. You blow the whole roll and you have to flush 25 times too. The whole episode is consumer waste.

The Graffiti Dump -- You flush the dump and the swirling motion of the receding bowl water forces the dump to the porcelain sides, scraping a creative squiggle on its way down. You flush again but the curlicue hangs there...love it or leave it. Its your choice.

The Encore Dump - Ahhhh, you're done, so you wipe, put yourself together, wash your hands and are about to vacate the bathroom when you feel another dump coming. You have to return for a curtain call. The world's record is seven encores.

The Born Again Dump - This is a dump that's going so badly, you say “Lord, if I live through this, I'll take up religion.” You always get through it, but seldom keep the promise you made in desperation, because a born again dump is like childbirth... you forget the pain quickly.

Today Is Monday And I Needed A Smile..N

2008-10-13T02:15:00.001-07:00

Hm... Have you ever tried those big blobs on water... I would like to do so...

This website has for many times shown that buses are stronger than bikes. But still...

This is American football, the guy is about to kick... Look at the ball when it pass the posts...

Hard to know what finger he did use...

Mercedes Vs Ferrari, and that's not Formula One...

This one is for all of you pranksters!! Chose your victim carefully...

Joke Of The Day:
A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks.

The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?''

Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!''

''How!?!?!?'' she asks.

''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.''

''Well how long does it take?'' she asks.

''They should expand over the years,'' he answers.

''How did you know that?'' she wonders.

''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'''

Happy Thanks Giving!! (Canadians)

2008-10-12T03:37:00.000-07:00

This is how the US army bring democracy to other countries. Keep up the good job...

This is what happen when fire fighters are bored...

This girl is challenged. But the kind of challenge that, we men, like...

Golfers don't have a sense of humour...

This poor kid will never look at a bike the same way again...

This guy should stick to hockey...

Joke Of The Day:
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis.

"Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football.

"Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

I'm Going Back To Ennis... YAY!!!

2008-10-11T02:13:00.000-07:00

In the mean time can any one make any sense of this??

Don't get out without your blackbarry!!

Does this make you want to smoke a cigar??

Problem nowadays is that technology turned us into lazy slobs...

If you are planning in getting married very soon DO NOT watch this clip...

Old people say that in their times everybody said hello to every one, not anymore... Well apart for this guy...

Joke Of The Day:
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?""Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."

Raising Idiocy To Awesomeness...

2008-10-10T01:03:00.000-07:00

For every idiots armed with an exercise ball...

For every idiots who try to prank their friends...

For every idiots at the track and field...

For every idiots coming down the stairs...

For every idiots who think they can "parcour"...

For every idiots with a gun in their hands...

For every idiots who are just being themselves...

AWESOME!!!

Joke Of The Day:
A couple just got a new house. The husband turned to his wife and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge for him. She kindly agreed and left.

When she got to the hardware store, got the hinge, and put it on the counter in front of the clerk. He noticed that she didn't have any screws for it, so he asked her ''Do you want a screw for that hinge?''

She looked back at him and said ''No, but I'll blow you for that toaster in the window.''

Mama Used To Say If You Don't Have The Right, Take The Left!!

2008-10-09T01:45:00.000-07:00

So that is what happen when you are bored and got no girlfriend? Shit... Need a girlfriend fast!!

So... Bugsy smoked a fat one eh?

I think that this is the easiest way to define bad luck...

This one need sound... That is one embarrassed father...

For some reasons I think she deserves it...

If you look closely, the idiot is the one with the log...

Fuck the whales, save the pandas!!

Joke Of The Day:
Billy's homework assignment is to think of a true story with a moral so he goes home and thinks about it all night and finally has one.

The following day, Suzy raises her hand first and says, "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."

The teacher asks for the moral to the story. Suzy replies, "Don't put all your eggs in one basket."

Next is Lucy. "Well, my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched. The moral is, don't count your chicks before they are hatched.''

Billy is last to speak. He says, ''My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam War. His plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed, with only a parachute, a bottle of bourbon, a machine gun, and a machete. As he floated down he drank the bottle of bourbon. Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade broke on his machete, so he killed the last 10 with his bare hands.''

The teacher looks in shock at Billy and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story.

Billy replies, "Don't fuck with my Uncle Ted when he's been drinking.''

Is It Wrong To Laugh About Others Misery? The Hell No!!

2008-10-08T03:00:00.000-07:00

What is a stressful job? Secretary? Technician? Nope... That is a stressful job...

Here is an example of how to turn something serious into something fun...

You won't get any tuna fresher than that...

This kid do it like the pros...

Are you like me wondering what happened to McGiver?

This is really short but sweet...

Joke Of The day:
A drunk says to the bartender, "I want a woman!" So, the bartender gives him directions to the local brothel. The customer was so drunk, he misreads the directions and accidentally goes into the office of a foot doctor. The receptionist at the counter asks, "Can I help you?" "Yes, I want some service," states the drunk. She sends him to one of the examination rooms and tells him to put it on the table. The drunk goes in and places his manhood on the exam table. When the doctor comes in, the startled podiatrist sees the man's member on the table and she says, "That's not a foot!" The drunk replies, "Give it time, lady, give it time."

You Will Not Believe That Epic Fail!!!

2008-10-07T02:05:00.000-07:00

Today is my 100Th post on this site and I have a surprise for you!! The ultimate pwnage!!

Nutshot? No.
Faceplant? No.
Car crash? No.

You will have to go to the last video of this post to see the

ULTIMATE EPIC FAIL!!

But first, how do you know if you found the perfect girl?

What is the difference between Hilary and George? Hilary is a woman...

Toasted guy by the church...

Guess what he is driving?

Well what do you know?? An upset Lynx sounds exactly like my ex-wife!!

And here it is... The ultimate pwnage!!!

Joke Of The Day:

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ”I’m so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died.”
The man was very upset and yelled, ”You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn’t come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away.”

The brother thought about it and apologized.

“So how’s Mom?” asked the man.

“She’s on the roof and won’t come down.”