IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story.

Here it goes...
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#2:


#3:


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#5:


#6:


Joke Of The Day:
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

AnyDumb People In The Crowd?

Well, if not I have a few for you...
I have to confess, I haven't talked to my father for a very, very long time. Why? Because he's an asshole. I guess this kid will not talk to his dad for a while, at least not for the same reason...


The main thing with dumb people is that they have an incredible ability to hurt themselves in the weirdest ways...


It is very easy to recognize when a dumb person is behind the wheel. What amaze me even more is how on hearth they managed to get a driving license...


The problem with dumb people is that when they have a bad idea they think that it is a good idea. Like this one, that is not the best way to avoid paying the toll on the highway...


But the thing that you have to remember about the dumb people is that they are all around us... Beware!!


Joke Of The Day:
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

People Shouldn't Do...

TV Shows if they can't go down the stairs...


Car pooling when you have a bike...


Cycle when you are blind as a bat...


Tea when they are blondes...


Ride a bike if they are complete morons...


Joke Of The Day:
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

This Is Getting Even Weirder...

Okay, your wife is blonde... What can you do??


That is something I need to try. C'mon... Sounds fun!!


Okay... I had babies in my life... But that never happened...


This happens to me quite a lot... Well after all I'm French...


Soccer is a game of two halves... Literally...


Joke Of The Day:
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.

The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."

The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"

The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

"How did it go?" the doctor asked.

"Terrible, doctor, terrible."

"Did it not work?"

"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."

"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"

"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

Definition Of Embarrassing Situation...

Here are a few embarrassing situations...
Check this one out... Live TV, want to look hot and "in"... Well not in the kitchen lady!!


Trying to sell your house? Maybe you need a new estate agent? Call these guys...


That happened to me once. I didn't use the same as this guy. I used the Sun newspaper... That itch a lot!!


I don't think you can beat this one though...


Men, when they want to, can be very creative and then... Totally screw up...


Joke Of The Day:
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids don't eat broccoli!

Summer Is Back!! Well... In Ireland Anyway...

Seriously... The temperature is great and the sun is shining and all that shit! Dunno what the problem is with this guy... Anger management is so required here!!


This woman is dumb. Sorry to say that but she get caught twice on the same radio show!! Well not on the same day but...


Life can bring the most amazing shit ever...


This guy gets owned in the face but I think the best is the reaction...


Here are a few worst a laugh...


Joke Of The Day:
Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality was that he had three balls. He thought it to be a reproductive abnormality so he wanted to consult a doctor. But he was a little hesitant to present his situation to the doctor. So he tried to explain it to him indirectly. He said, ''Doctor ,if you combine your and my balls, then the result will be five!'' The doctor was amazed to hear that. He stood up and asked the patient, ''You poor guy, have you got only one?''

The Truth Is Out There... I Think...

Here is how you recognize a bad spot...


This is the best way to get yourself on Youtube...


Do not try this at home... If you do please send the video to me...


Remember the wooden spoon prank? Well here is another version... OUCH!!


I know it is not nice to laugh about disabled people but I had to post this...


Joke Of The Day:
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.

"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"