Your Attempt At Failing Has Failed... Please Fail Again!

The big ball fail:


The quad fail:


The horse fail:


The pogo stick fail:


The running in the woods fail:


The steeple chase fail:


The WII fail:


Joke Of The Day:
There was an old man named Bozo, and all he had was a female donkey. One day he wins the lottery and gets $50,000. He doesn't know what to do with his money, so he decides to spend a night in a five star hotel. He asks for the finest room and starts going up the stairs with his female donkey. The manager sees him and asks where he's going with his donkey.
"Anywhere I go, she goes."
"I'm sorry, sir," said the manager, "but you can't take the donkey upstairs. Leave it down here with us and we'll take good care of her." So Bozo goes up to his room and opens the door. Everything is made of gold, there is a table full of food, and a huge television. He doesn't want to ruin anything so he takes his raggedy coat off and sleeps on the floor. The next morning the manager comes up to the room and asks how his night was.
''Great!'' replied Bozo. ''How much do I have to pay?'' he asks.
''One thousand dollars for the food.''
''But I haven't touched the food."
''It was right there, so you should have. Two thousand dollars for the TV."
''But I didn't even know how to turn the damn thing on!''
''It was there, so you should have. Five thousand for sleeping on the bed."
''But I slept on the floor!''
''It was there. Your total is eight thousand dollars."
''You owe me ten thousand dollars for screwing my donkey.''
''But sir, I didn't screw your donkey.''
''It was there. You should have!''

Dude... Is That A Pig Flying??

Okay... You got a great shot and want to celebrate... Not that way lady!!!


Don't think I will ever eat a cucumber sandwich again...


This is cute and smelly...


This is a classic and guess what... I think this guy deserve it...


Drugs are bad for you... Give it to the lemur instead...


I don't know who McGruff is but that kid will remember him...


Joke Of The Day:
This one is for all the Tottenham Hotspurs fans...
What is the difference between Tottenham and a triangle?
The triangle got three points...

Economic Recession... Still can have a laugh!

You know the way some programs on TV have the "Please don't try this at home" message? Well, please try THIS at home...


If you are a stand up comedian you need to understand that your sense of humour might not please every one...


Personally I wash my hair at least every two days... Guess what... I do not have this problem...


Do you have kids? Do they have a bicycle? If yes, make sure that you show them that video... Look before you turn!


Ice skating can be most surprising...


Here is how the Heimlich manoeuvre was invented...


Joke Of The Day:

The Italian says, “When I’ve a finisheda makina da love with my girlfriend I go down and gently tickle the back of her kneesa, she floatsa 6 inches abovea da bed in ecstasy”.

The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nothing, when Ah ‘ave finished making ze love with ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen Ah lick zer soles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy”.

The Aussie says, “Mate, that’s nothing. When I’ve finished shaggin me sheila, I get out of bed, walk over to the window and wipe me dick on the curtains. And MATE ….. She hits the fucking roof. GO THE AUSSIES!!"

Saturday Morning Fever...

This guy has relationship problems... Maybe too self centered?


During the week we learned that having a peach in a field where a horny donkey is standing is not a good idea. Well having it in Iraq isn't better...


I wonder what McEnroe is doing these days?


The dudes who made this prank got lucky there wasn't a bus full of nuns visiting the museum...


If you have the stupid laugh... Don't do it on TV...


Joke Of The Day:
What not to say to your naked boyfriend:

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4'' bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Shit, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your french fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

Hi Kids!! Anyone Wants To Be Fucked Up? Just Like Me?

This dude is good, but if he missed that the two other balls would have been in troubles...


What not to do when you are clumsy...


I'm telling you officer... I ain't drunk!


Freshness at its best (And the cab driver is a puss)...


What happen when vegans eat bacon...


I hate cats... But they are kinda clever. For example, you know why cats don't like water? Because they are butt ugly when wet!!


Joke Of The Day:

A professor at Texas A&M University is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands.

“Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever seen a ghost?” About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” 15 students raise their hands.

“That’s a great response.” “Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?” 3 students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic.” “But let me ask you one question further… Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” One student in a flannel shirt and baseball cap way in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says,

“Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.” The redneck student complies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.” The student replies, “Ghost?!? Sheeyit. From baaack there it sounded like you said ‘goats!’”.

Men Can Have Great Ideas... So Can Women....

For example at the superstore car park, just wait for the trolley guy to get out of the way first, then go for fatty on the bike...


If you want to be in the next Olympic diving team you need to exercise... I a pool!!


At the beach... Before making a big splash, please ensure that the tide is up...


So you are in the country side and there you go... Need to let go at a peach... Look around and there is to fields:
One that is empty, one that has a horny donkey in it, which one do you choose?


If you want to look like "THE MAN", this is not the way to do it...


You're pissed and fighting, you think that a sewer cap is a good weapon. Well think again...


Want to pass on TV, please have a shave first...


Joke Of The Day:

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.One of them said, “I’m the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”

One of the others said. “That’s nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics.”

The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse’s ass and a cowboy hat. Now he’s President of the United States!”

Attack Of The Morons...

You know your day will stink when...


Do you like rugby? Maybe prefer basket ball? Well there is not much difference is there?


This hockey fan is having a bad day and it is going to get worst...


Don't know for you but you know these little security gates in the supermarket... They don't look very strong do they?


First he get slapped then balled...


The advantage of the hike in the gas prices is that this wont get to the pump that often anymore...


The best first day at work ever...


Joke Of The Day:
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms. The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool.

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.

He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where upon the head starts coughing and sputtering.

Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: “Three years I’ve spent learning to swim with my fucking ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!”

Was Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky Trying To Be Funny...

When he worked on the nutcracker?
Let see...
Could it happen with a hockey stick?


Could it happen by the golf course?


Could it happen on a soccer pitch?


Could it happen on a stack line?


Could it happen on a ramp?


Could it happen on a trampoline?


Well what ever you think, I think this is funnier:


Joke Of The Day:

A man walks into a bar, sits down on a bench and orders a cold one. He swigs down the beer, looks in his pocket, cringes and orders another. He gulps down that one, looks in his pocket again, cringes and orders yet another one. This goes on for at least an hour and a half.

Finally the bartender, bursting with curiosity, says, “I know it’s none of my business buddy, but I have to ask. Why the whole “drink, look in pocket, cringe and order another one” routine?”

“Well,” slurred the man, “There’s a picture of my wife in my pocket. When she starts to look good, then it’s time for me to go home.”

Looking At These, Only One Word In Mind... TWAT!

Well this one is a classic... Need sound...


This guy isn't a national hero...


This bus driver has been fired since...


Well, what do you know... Nazis can be fun...


This reporter is very dedicated to his work...


In the title of this post I used the term "TWAT". You might not be familiar with this term. Here is a definition of what is a twat...


Joke Of The Day:

An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning:
“I’m sorry, but I’ll not be able to come in today as I’m too sick.”

On hearing this his exasperated boss could barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage:
“well, just how sick are you?”

“Well” the employee sighed, “I’m in bed with my sister!”

The Credit Crunch Is Here!! Let's Have A Laugh...

So, here we go again... I hate cats, I love dogs... What I like in this video is that even though every one saw it, you can't wait to see the cat ownage against the wall...


The first dude got skills... The second one needs a bit of training...


That is some powerful ass action from a squirrel...


This is serious show that was aired in the States about safety for the kids... Listen up kids!!! Follow the dude on LSD!!!


It was the first day at work at the plaster plant...


Joke Of The Day:

A teacher asks her class, ”If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?” She calls on little Johnny.”None, they all fly away with the first gunshot.”

The teacher replies, ”The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking.” Then Little Johnny says, ”I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?”

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, ”Well I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.”

”The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on…but I like your thinking.”

Ali G In Da House...

About dangerous weapons...


About euthanasia...


About language...


About the country side...


Who wants to win an once...


Joke Of The Day:

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can’t see each other using sign language).

After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. “Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time.”

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, “Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time.” “And if you don’t want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis… fifty times!”

Today Is Fun Day At The Blondes Park...

Where will we e without blondes? Let's study the different types of blondes around here... Note that you need sound to enjoy this.
The blonde in the car...


The vegetarian blonde...


The blonde at the library...


The blonde that will not make the X factor...


The blonde on the TV show...


The crazy blonde...


And... Finally... The clever blonde!!


Joke Of The Day:

There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

She asked the shepherd, “If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?”

He replied “Sure!”

Out of the blue, she blurts out, “352!”

He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one.

He looks at her and says, “If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!”

Today We Learn The Truth AAbout Obama...

But you need sound to get it...


Remember that bartender that was in the wrong job? Well he still haven't found a new one...


Did any of you ever been that drunk? If yes please do comment...


Poor old grandad got fired on that one...


I love the mom...


Here comes the nut cracker...


Balls + Face = Laughs


How do you determine if your pal is a wuss?


What can be worst than a drunk? Two drunks...


Joke Of The Day:

HER SIDE OF THE STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it.

The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.

So anyway, in the cab on the way back to His house, I said that I love him and he just put His arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to His place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex.

But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don`t know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he`s met someone else??

HIS SIDE OF THE STORY
My team lost. Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though.

I Can't Work Today... I Got The Dumb...

Okay... This is certainly the dumbest criminal ever!! I didn't see why straight away the first time I looked at it. Just wait till the end when a customer get into the bank and you will understand...


The parents of this kid must be so proud...


Kids can be extremely cruel sometimes...


Remember a few days ago? Mom got drunk... Well she is not getting any better...


Who wants to be a dumbinaire??


Joke Of The Day:

A drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional and said nothing. The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.

The priest coughs to attract the drunk man’s attention, but still the man says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.

Finally the drunk replies, “No use knockin,’ pal. There’s no paper.”

Today I Feel So Good That I Feel Bad For These Guys...

I don't know what this guy has done... But look how tempting this is...


Well... He wont play golf again!! But at least someone got a bargain on the TV...


We all have seen the picture on the net... Now here is the clip (I actually cried when I saw that one)... Get your ass down!!


Here we go... Another segway victim...


This reporter gets totally owned by a horse...


Cute girl... Her boyfriend is a boxer... Knows his stuff... As these two idiots realise...


Joke Of The day:

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey “Hey! What are you doing?” The monkey says, “Smoking a joint. Come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.”

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry, and
that he’s going to get a drink from the river.

At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned
lizard, helping him to the side. He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?”

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in! The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out.

He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says, “Hey, MONKEY!”

The Monkey looks down and says “WOOOO, DUUUUDE . . . How much water did you drink?”

Global Warming: Morons Brains Are Melting!!

Here is one I didn't know... Detroit suck...


I hate cats... I love dogs... Dogs are way cooler than cats...


Yesterday we learned that a car roof top was a great place to get a faceplant. Today we discover that a windscreen is also good...


Happy birthday kids!!! Aunty fatty brought down the bouncy castle again...


Here we go... Mom is pissed again!!


This is evil... But good though...


Joke Of The day:

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home.

They are about to kiss each other goodnight, but the guy is feeling a little horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her “Darling, would you give me a blow job?”

Horrified, she replies “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

Him: “Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

Her: “No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

Him: “Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”

Her: “No way. It’s just too risky!”

Him (horny as hell): “Oh please, please, I love you so much!”

Her: “No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can’t!”

Him: “Oh yes you can. Please?”

Her: “No, no. I just can’t”

Him: “I beg you… ”

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says:

“Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom..”

Sunday School...

Or, learn lessons from others...
For example, did you know that the best place to get a faceplant is the top roof of a car?


Did you know that a hamster can go round for only a few seconds?


Advertizing is the best way for kids to let their real feelings go?


Cartoon characters are more and more part of our life?


Whit people can't dunk?


Women with a gun are not dangerous?


Joke Of The Day:
This one is for the Irish...
What is the difference between a South Dubliner and a North Dubliner?
None. They are both using space that could be used by a Cork man!!

Fall is Upon Us... FALL???

It's dancing time... There is the guy of the stupid show on TV in it... Love watching this...


Here are a few people with two left legs...


Gymnastics can be a goldmine...


As said in the title... Fall is upon us...


Some people with some moves...


It's party time!! Can you find the blonde??


Joke Of The Day:
John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

“Louise,” he moaned, “tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?”

“Even worse,” she said, her voice oozing scorn. “You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face.”

“He’s an asshole,” John said. “Piss on him.”

“You did,” came the reply. “And he fired you.”

“Well, screw him!” said John.

“I did. You`re back at work on Monday.

Life Can Be Funny Sometimes...

For example, you get drunk and need to barf. Can you imagine that the toilets could be your worst enemy?


Do you like the Simpsons? I love them. And guess what... I found the real life Otto!! MMMMEEETTTTTAAAALLLLIIIIICCCCAAAA!!!


This guy is a noob... Well I hope he is...


This guy will be honest one day. I'm sure of it... He suck so much at being dishonest!!


Here are a few examples that shows that parenting can be troublesome...


Some strange people in strange situation...


Joke Of The Day:
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his Mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The Mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his Mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time," said the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his Mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."

Today You Need Some Sound...

Okay, so the guy fail with skate board... You have to admire the guy who's filming...


This guy isn't in the right job...


I love BBQs. It makes the food great!! All food... Well maybe not all...


We all have our ways to get rid of stress... This is a new method... Fancy trying?


I think I could watch this guy over and over... Not you?


Ever asked yourself what Santa is doing 364 days of the year? Well I don't know. But I do know what the Easter bunny is up to...


Joke Of The day:

A women was pregnant with triplets.

One day she goes into this bank as it was being held up. She gets shot 3 times in her stomach, but luckily she lives.

She goes to the doctor who tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out.

So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of the bathroom and says “MOM, MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!” So the mother tells her the story.

The next day the second daughter comes out and says the same thing, “MOM, I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM AND A BULLET CAME OUT!”

On the third day the son comes out and says “MOM, MOM!” she goes “Let me guess, you were going to the bathroom and a bullet came out?” he replies “No, I was jerking off and I shot the dog!”

Lepre.chaum@yougotowned.ie

Another Skype ownage...
[20:24:35] amber wilson says: My Dearest Friend,
How are you doing today? I hope you are doing okey we thank God. I am Amber Wilson from
Sydney Australia.
It obvious that i'm not suppose to be alive due to my cancer Disease which is at it's last stage.

It all happened when I went the UN peace keeping mission journalist crew to Sierra Leone, during the course of the voyage I found this treasure box which contains 53 pieces of conflict Diamonds and a Golden Statue. During this period, some militants in Sierra Leone in conjuction with some of my colleague felt jealous that I was not supposed to take it and they conspired against me but all well and good i got it at the end. I took the treasure box to a neighbouring country, there i was able to legalize it through the help of a God fearing Attorney, then i assured it in a Security firm under heavy security survelance that no one can tamper with the contents unless I or my bonafide beneficiary. I want you to be my beneficiary of this treasure box because its certain i cannot make it because i have travelled far and wide still i get the same result.

I choose you because of the limited time I have got and I don’t have the time looking for close pals, I just believe honesty is not written on the fore-head but it manifest in the heart of every human being. Also as an orphan I don't have any close family but the few friends and colleague I know have always wanted to steal it from me and harm me. Right now I am in Amsterdam where I went to receive treatment.
I don't have much strength and my body is in great pain as i write to you this very moment. If you really want to be my beneficiary and concern, all you need to do is contact the Officer in charge who I handed the treasure to setimsecurity.treasuredp@gmail.com , Tell the officer that I (Ms.Amber Wilson) assigned you to collect my treasure box for it's my Last property I have left as I have willed the rest to different people around the world and they showed their gratitude and also prayed for me. For the Officer in charge of the treasury section to believe you, here are some necessary details of me which you have to put down when you contact the Officer. (Secret Details). Without these details you can’t receive the treasure or get a reply from him.

Treasure owner> Ms. Amber Wilson
Secret Question> Where i Grew up
Secret Answer> Orphanage Home
Secret Code > SEFNCU006
Password> I love australia

Keeping this secret to yourself is the best for you and here is the code to unlock the box (85s6497) you would use this code as soon as the box gets to your hands Make sure you don't give this codes to any body not even the Officer in charge.

NOTE: When you collect the treasure, I want you take 40% of it and give 60% to any Orphanage home or motherless babies home of your choice most especially because the treasure is too much for one person and priceless.sure box because its certain i cannot make it because i have travelled far and wide still i get the same result.
[20:27:05] Frederic Lievre says: Sure will do... Just need to call a few leprechaum to give me a hand with all that money
[20:27:37] amber wilson says: can u do it
[20:28:05] Frederic Lievre says: Well let me see if I can call them... Leprechaums are very volatile...
[20:28:49] amber wilson says: u are to send them an e-mail
[20:29:53] Frederic Lievre says: Hm.. Im not sure they have a computer... Let me see if I have an email address for them... would it be lepre.chaum@yougotowned.ie?
[20:30:51] amber wilson says: what did u eman by all this can u do it or not
[20:31:19] Frederic Lievre says: I just meant you got owned... 8-)
[20:32:18] amber wilson says: can u do it yes or no
[20:32:54] Frederic Lievre says: Well for someone who went on mission for the UN ure not all there are ya?

Shit... Tuesday Only And Already Tired...

This is some commercial about a film festival... Kind of strange really... I don't know who's the worst in this trio...


I don't know what is the story behind that but this old dude get his revenge...


This dude streaking days are over...


Admit it guys... We all wanted to do this one day or another...


Wish your girlfriend was a stripper? Maybe not...


What would happen if you sat three idiots on a tree branch?


Joke Of The Day:
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn’t believe it when she asked if I’d be interested in meeting up and re-kindling a little of that “magic. “”Wow!” I said. “I don’t know if I could keep pace with you now. I’m a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me.” She just giggled and said she was sure I’d “rise” to the challenge.

“Yeah” I said, “Just so long as you don’t mind a man with a waistline that’s a few inches wider these days!” She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled, “I’ve put on a few pounds myself!”

So I told her to fuck off.

I Need To Burn My Passport...

Seriously.
Here is a bird that get owned big time...


As you are aware by now... I hate cats. If you are not aware of this, please read previous posts. I like dogs though... But that dog... is an idiot!


This cop is a bastard... Still, do not watch this after lunch...


If you are going to fail miserably, make sure you do it on TV...


Well, seems that this guy need some driving lessons...


This guy has been fired since...


Hm... Never thought of that...


Joke Of The Day:
Two guys are in a locker room when one notices the other has a cork up his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a Big Fella in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No shit?"

The Sunday Browl...

As said in previous posts... I hate cats... And I have to admit that I do fancy a job as delivery guy in this company...


Can anyone answer the following question... How the fuck did he get that idea??


Idiot + Skate board + Ramp = Short but sweet laugh...


Now that is what I call a fashion show...


Who needs a forward when the opponents have that kind of defender?


A few ownages, after all it's Sunday...


Joke Of The Day:
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.

She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the
party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she
argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to
bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not
going. So he took his costume and away he went.

The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without
pain and as it was still early, she decided to go the party.

In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she
thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see
how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting
around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he
could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe
herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time
to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her
husband.

Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she
agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little
bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and
went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering
what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.

She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind
of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I
never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I
got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we
went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not
going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume
to......."

The Dos And Don't... Well The Don't...

Some people shouldn't do water skiing...


Some people shouldn't drink...


Some people shouldn't drive...


Some people shouldn't do snow activities...


And... Errr... Some people simply shouldn't be...


Joke Of The Day:
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop
and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a
doctor. She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled
back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you.

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

Extra!!Extra!!!My Ghanean Scammer Of The Day...

[04/09/2008 19:48:49] ckojo says: i am Mr. Charles Kojo Branch Manager International Commercial Bank, Accra Ghana.I must first apologize for this unsolicited Message to You. I am aware that this is certainly an unconventional approach to establishing a relationship, but you will realize the reason for my action after going through this message. we can chat in you are free??..incase you are Busy email to ckojo96@yahoo.com,,,For the Full Business?
[04/09/2008 19:50:38] Frederic Lievre says: hm... Let me see... Last time I had lobotomy it didn't work...
[20:04:43] ckojo says: What do you mean by that Sir?
[20:06:51] Frederic Lievre says: think im stoopid?
[20:07:27] ckojo says: Sorry, but you are mistaking by saying that,
[20:07:41] Frederic Lievre says: am I??
[20:08:30] ckojo says: I hope you hate my words, but am not what you Think Sir
[20:08:51] Frederic Lievre says: So what are you then?
[20:09:27] ckojo says: Well it depence, but it seem you are Confuse yourself,
[20:09:40] Frederic Lievre says: I aint...
[20:10:01] ckojo says: You don,t know me, but you have been accuse me.
[20:10:18] Frederic Lievre says: of being a scammer... Yes.
[20:10:42] ckojo says: Scammer,,, I beg your pardon Sir
[20:10:52] ckojo says: i work for ICB
[20:10:55] ckojo says: am Mr. Charles Kojo Branch Manager
[20:11:03] Frederic Lievre says: The fuck is ICB??
[20:11:21] ckojo says: International Commercial Bank in Full
[20:11:30] ckojo says: Mind your word sir
[20:11:34] Frederic Lievre says: Im on AIB going through BOI
[20:12:04] ckojo says: In Full Name?
[20:12:28] Frederic Lievre says: Well... You're the bank guy.. Should know about that...
[20:13:13] ckojo says: Well it depence
[20:13:22] Frederic Lievre says: on what?
[20:13:31] ckojo says: Your words
[20:13:52] ckojo says: I know its unconventional approach to you this way,
[20:13:55] Frederic Lievre says: Well these are well established banks... Should know about it...
[20:14:21] ckojo says: There are many Bank, But in Full ,
[20:14:35] ckojo says: Ok what is GCB?
[20:14:38] ckojo says: In Full
[20:14:47] Frederic Lievre says: well not much on the Irish Market...
[20:15:01] Frederic Lievre says: I'm a tech guy why should I know
[20:15:14] ckojo says: Ok what is GCB?
[20:15:29] ckojo says: Than why are you saying that,
[20:16:53] Frederic Lievre says: because in the company I work for we receive about a dozen of bollocks email from u guys telling us that someone left a few bobs and that you need us to help you getting it for a comission for us.
[20:17:19] Frederic Lievre says: Note that your IP has been recorded through SNMP monitoring.
[20:17:46] ckojo says: Well i believe you,
[20:17:58] ckojo says: I do get the same massager always
[20:18:02] Frederic Lievre says: better do mate... PWNED!!!
[20:18:14] ckojo says: But that is life in African.
[20:18:31] Frederic Lievre says: Well.. get a better job...
[20:19:27] ckojo says: but you will realize the reason for chating with you, i know there are alot of scammer,
[20:19:51] Frederic Lievre says: well the hell yeah... You should know about it...
[20:19:56] ckojo says: Better Job, wha do you mean by that
[20:20:08] ckojo says: You seem disrespect,
[20:20:09] Frederic Lievre says: Just get a real job...
[20:20:13] ckojo says: take care Sir
[20:20:19] Frederic Lievre says: you're a dope...
[20:20:30] ckojo says: Am Not Dope
[20:20:38] Frederic Lievre says: shit?
[20:20:53] ckojo says: and if you don,t have respect in your area you better lang a good English
[20:21:20] Frederic Lievre says: fuck mate... you are so in the kingdom!!! (rofl)
[20:21:23] ckojo says: Mind your words, or You ill die one day by insult
[20:21:35] ckojo says: You are very poor
[20:21:39] ckojo says: and stupid
[20:21:47] Frederic Lievre says: And you're a fucking idiot...
[20:21:48] ckojo says: and you know that,
[20:22:13] ckojo says: Your mother is and your sick father are fucking idiot..
[20:22:16] Frederic Lievre says: Sure do... But at least don't scam people... Fucking thief
[20:22:39] Frederic Lievre says: mom is dead and father is a moron... hit me!!

Iz This Coffee?

Ok, seems that criminals in Ontario are really easy to catch...


Chuck Norris will never give up, cry, get cancer, have a shit, run, be afraid... But he will make big bux in advertising...


Yesterday I thought getting a BMX would be a great idea... What a LOSER!! It's a skate board I need!!


I don't know what she has done but...


Okay... If you go on the sauce one night, try not to be on TV in the morning...


Because it is Friday, here is a nice bunch of idiots...


And a bit of ownage...


Joke Of The day:
A man walks into a bar one day and says to the barman "Please, I need a really stiff drink, pour me the strongest you've got."
"Sure" says the barman, "but what's bothering you?"
"You don't want to know," says the man, "but I've just found out my son is gay". He has his drink and leaves.
The next day, he's back in the bar. "Please barman, do you remember the drink you poured me yesterday?"
"Yes," says the barman
"Well, please pour me a double one of those today."
The barman lifts his eyebrows quizzingly, pours the drink and asks what has now gone wrong.
The man takes his drink, gulps it down and confesses: "My second son is also gay."
The following day, the man enters the bar once again and this time asks for the drink to be three times the strength.
"Hell," says the barman, "is there nobody in your house that likes women?"
"Unfortunately yes," says the man: "my wife.

I Think I Have A Great Idea...

I need to get a BMX!! People are having so much fun with these...


Going to church can be funny even though I rather sleep in on Sundays...


The other day I saw that movie called "Don't mess with the Zohan"... I thought it was kind of crap... Here is another one... Don't mess with Santa...


I don't know if you use courier companies but here is a good reason not to use FEDEX...


I love this one... Coming out of work on Friday and going back on Monday...


If you are tight arsed do not trust your mobile phone...


This has to be one of the most embarrassing TV moments ever...


Joke Of The Day:

There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief.

So the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief.

The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted.

The wise man emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wise man says, "Big Chief no Fart."

The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wise man comes out and says,"Big Chief no Fart."

The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans.

At the end of the day the wise man comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"

A Few Are Freaky...

Okay, so we all had our fun with the copier. Did we? Well, after watching this you might want to think twice before doing it again...


What is the definition of a loser? Well this weatherman has a very creepy stalker. So creepy that I think we can call him a loser...


Okay... Four guys... One is an idiot. Guess which one...


In soccer you can have the best and the worst and the same pitch. For example, you have the best goalkeeper on one side and the worst on the other side...


This is one good ad for hot dogs and one happy man...


And there it is... The reason why blondes don't have a good name...


Joke Of The Day:
Paddy was walking through a town one day when he say a shop with a notice in the window. The notice said "We sell everything". Paddy could not believe this so he went inside. He walked to the counter and asked the salesperson, "Do you really sell everything?" The salesperson said "Yes, everything".

Thinking this was too good to be true Paddy said "OK then could I have a jumper for a chicken?". The salesperson said "A jumper for a chicken?, hold on I will have to check the stock out the back". Five minutes later, the salesperson returned with a brown paper bag. "Here you go, one jumper for a chicken"

"How much?" asked Paddy.

"Three quid." replied the salesperson.

"Three quid for a jumper for a chicken - excellent." said Paddy. So away he went as happy as larry. When he got outside he thought to himself that maybe he was done, so he looked inside the bag. At the bottom of the bag was a condom.

He was mad and stormed back into the shop. He screamed at the salesperson "Hey, I asked you for a jumper for a chicken and you have given me a condom - whats going on?"

The salesperson replied, "Sorry mate, I checked in the back and we seem to be all out of jumpers for chickens, all we had was a pullover for a cock."

A Part For The Last Video On This Post

All the clips here are coming from a TV show in the UK called "You've Been Framed"...
Here is the first one...


Some Ownages...


Some Pwnages...


More Bangs...


When the owned gets though...


This is a bit different, bits of commercials, quite funny...


Joke Of The Day:

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said “Santa, will you stay with me?”, Santa replied, “Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys.”

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

“Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys.”

She takes off everything and says “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

Santa replies “Gotta stay, gotta stay, can’t get up the chimney with my dick this way!”

Back For More...

Ok, I didn't update the kingdom at the week end... Sorry... But I do have a life you know!! Anyway, here is your load for today...
Girls on thread mill...


This kid is pissing the tuba player off... Well he deserve what's coming to him...


This is the last thing to do if you want to look cool...


Education can be fun sometimes...


I like dogs... But I hate cats...


A few more in the animals department...


Plays can be fun (seriously)...


Joke Of The Day:
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport then could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said (adopt appropriate dialect), "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain His financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big time. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan. The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me a blow job on the way?" "What?! Get the hell out of my cab." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result. When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman said "ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver in line.