Are You Embarrassed?

Well these people had to go through surgery so that they can't be recognized in the street. This guy want to spice it up in bed...


To forget the national anthem is one thing but...


You're cute, you're blonde and you don't like water...


There is always one around...


Another classic treadmill...


Joke Of The Day:
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...

Do you have a piece of gum?

The BF (Ball In Face) Files...

Case #1:


Case #2:


Case #3:


Case #4:


Case #5:


Case #6:


Joke Of The Day:
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"

Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.

"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.

"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

For All Who Think That Drink And Drive Is Okay...

Listen up... Today I heard that one of the guys I went to school with died. How did he die? Some drunken bastard ran him over with a car. Why did I use the word bastard? Because that cunt was drunk as a skunk. Now, this guy killed him, left a widow with three kids... So before you go and think it is okay to have a few and drive... Watch these and think!!!

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IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story (Part Deux).

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Joke Of The Day:
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story.

Here it goes...
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#2:


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Joke Of The Day:
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

AnyDumb People In The Crowd?

Well, if not I have a few for you...
I have to confess, I haven't talked to my father for a very, very long time. Why? Because he's an asshole. I guess this kid will not talk to his dad for a while, at least not for the same reason...


The main thing with dumb people is that they have an incredible ability to hurt themselves in the weirdest ways...


It is very easy to recognize when a dumb person is behind the wheel. What amaze me even more is how on hearth they managed to get a driving license...


The problem with dumb people is that when they have a bad idea they think that it is a good idea. Like this one, that is not the best way to avoid paying the toll on the highway...


But the thing that you have to remember about the dumb people is that they are all around us... Beware!!


Joke Of The Day:
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

People Shouldn't Do...

TV Shows if they can't go down the stairs...


Car pooling when you have a bike...


Cycle when you are blind as a bat...


Tea when they are blondes...


Ride a bike if they are complete morons...


Joke Of The Day:
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

This Is Getting Even Weirder...

Okay, your wife is blonde... What can you do??


That is something I need to try. C'mon... Sounds fun!!


Okay... I had babies in my life... But that never happened...


This happens to me quite a lot... Well after all I'm French...


Soccer is a game of two halves... Literally...


Joke Of The Day:
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a check-up. Everything checked out fine.

The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive."

The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?"

The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

"Well," the doctor continued, "Let me suggest something. Crush the Viagra into a powder. When you are giving him coffee, stir it into the coffee and serve it. He won't notice a thing."

The old lady was delighted. She left the doctor's office quickly.

Weeks later the old lady returned. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. She shook her head.

"How did it go?" the doctor asked.

"Terrible, doctor, terrible."

"Did it not work?"

"Yes," the old lady said, "It worked. I did as you said and he got up and ripped his clothes off right then and there and we made mad love on the table. It was the best sex that I'd had in 25 years."

"Then what is the problem, ma'am?"

"Well," she said. "I can't ever show my face in McDonald's again."

Definition Of Embarrassing Situation...

Here are a few embarrassing situations...
Check this one out... Live TV, want to look hot and "in"... Well not in the kitchen lady!!


Trying to sell your house? Maybe you need a new estate agent? Call these guys...


That happened to me once. I didn't use the same as this guy. I used the Sun newspaper... That itch a lot!!


I don't think you can beat this one though...


Men, when they want to, can be very creative and then... Totally screw up...


Joke Of The Day:
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids don't eat broccoli!

Summer Is Back!! Well... In Ireland Anyway...

Seriously... The temperature is great and the sun is shining and all that shit! Dunno what the problem is with this guy... Anger management is so required here!!


This woman is dumb. Sorry to say that but she get caught twice on the same radio show!! Well not on the same day but...


Life can bring the most amazing shit ever...


This guy gets owned in the face but I think the best is the reaction...


Here are a few worst a laugh...


Joke Of The Day:
Once an abnormal guy went to a doctor. His abnormality was that he had three balls. He thought it to be a reproductive abnormality so he wanted to consult a doctor. But he was a little hesitant to present his situation to the doctor. So he tried to explain it to him indirectly. He said, ''Doctor ,if you combine your and my balls, then the result will be five!'' The doctor was amazed to hear that. He stood up and asked the patient, ''You poor guy, have you got only one?''

The Truth Is Out There... I Think...

Here is how you recognize a bad spot...


This is the best way to get yourself on Youtube...


Do not try this at home... If you do please send the video to me...


Remember the wooden spoon prank? Well here is another version... OUCH!!


I know it is not nice to laugh about disabled people but I had to post this...


Joke Of The Day:
A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train.

After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over, wakes the man and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly get me another blanket."

The man leans out and, with a glint in his eye, says, "I've got a better idea... just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

The woman thinks for a moment. "Why not," she giggles.

"Great," he replies, "Get your own damn blanket!"

Can You Remember...

The last time you saw 30 falls in 30 seconds?


The last time you saw a cat chase a mouse?


The last time you saw a cat protecting boobs?


The last time you saw a wannabe model crawling?


The last time you saw a dude make a total arse of himself?


Joke Of The Day:
What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head Nurse!

Dogs, Sea Lion, Chipmunk and... LSD.

Here are a few dogs on crack...


I'm sorry but this guy had a warning (if you listen closely)...


This guy should have gone to spec saver...


The chipmunk on crack...


This week end there is a trad festival where I live. What is trad? Trad is the short term for Irish Traditional music... Which I fucking hate!!! So there ya go...


Joke Of The Day:
Q: Where does an Irish person go on a vacation?
A: A new bar

A Few Tears In Your Eyes On This Miserable Saturday...

First I need to congratulate a visitor from Beamsville Ontario, Canada who was my 1000Th hit yesterday at 16:58 GMT. You won nothing!! (After all I ain't Mother Theresa)

When Moma is having a bad day... She IS having a bad day!!


These are the main reasons I like bowling. Well these and the silly shoes...


They are ungrateful, messy, somewhat impolite, annoying but... You have to love kids...


Gymnastics is a sport of grace, agility and failures...


Joke Of The Day:
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"

What Is Funnier Than Funny? Maybe This...

Hey!!! Look at me!!! I'm gonna fail!!


Here is a few funny things that can happen in the bathroom...


Obama is the next in line... Hope he won't be funny as this one...


Did I mention that the following six goal keepers have been fired?


I don't know what is worst... The pain of the fall or the pain of being watch by 1000's...


Joke Of The Day:
One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow.

"What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified.

"Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."

What Is Failure?

Failure can happen when trying the back flip trick...


Failure can be a drunk in the park...


Failure can occur when jumping sea water...


Most of the time failure happen while skate boarding...


But failure can also happen in the US Air Force...


Jumping water is a big low down...


Joke Of The Day:
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves. They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.

"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."

"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."

"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."

A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons. "Gerald -- the house you bought was too big. I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house. Milton -- the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old. But Robert -- you know exactly what I like. The chicken was delicious."

What Is Worst Than One Idiot? A Bunch Of Them!!

The Idiot on roller blades...


The Idiots and the fridge...


Now take a bunch of Idiots and send them to the UK police force...


The well paid soccer Idiot....


And here is a bouquet of Idiots...


Joke Of The Day:
Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"

The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"

Can Anyone Beat These??

So it's Sunday night and you go to the ball game and...


Do you remember that guy... Bill Cosby? I think it is time for him to be interned...


This is a message to you cute women... Do not take your mobile phone in the bathroom!!


Hm... Here is some clever piece of condom...


Who needs enemies when you got friends like them??


Well I guess the son will always remember Dad being stupid...


Joke Of The Day:
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, ''Father, what causes arthritis?''

''Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man,'' the priest replied. ''Imagine that,'' the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: ''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'' ''I don't have arthritis, Father,'' the drunk said, ''but I just read in the paper that the Pope does.''

Here Comes Monday Again!!!

Well some babies are just sitting around doing fuck all just looking cute but not this one...


You can send this one to your male friends!! Britney having it!! Not...


This must be most embarrassing situation ever...


Here is the ultimate proof that dogs are more intelligent than cats... Take that cat lady!!!


This is exclusive!! The new Taliban training center!!!


Joke Of The Day:
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

Today Is Weirdoes Sunday!!

Dunno what's wrong with these two but today I dedicate this post to idiots and weirdoes...


Hm... I hope this wasn't his helicopter...


I don't know what to think of this... Make your own judgement on that one...


To tell you the truth this happened to me once. I was in a train and the guy in front of me was doing weird shit... Couldn't stop laughing!!


What are you staring at?? Errrrr.....


Joke Of The Day:
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face. So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home. When he arrived at the door he stood up and again fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "So, you've been out drinking again!"

"What makes you say that?" he asked, putting on an innocent look.

"The pub called -- you left your wheelchair there again."