IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story (Part Deux).

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#5:


#6:


Joke Of The Day:
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story.

Here it goes...
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#2:


#3:


#4:


#5:


#6:


Joke Of The Day:
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

Here Comes Monday Again!!!

Well some babies are just sitting around doing fuck all just looking cute but not this one...


You can send this one to your male friends!! Britney having it!! Not...


This must be most embarrassing situation ever...


Here is the ultimate proof that dogs are more intelligent than cats... Take that cat lady!!!


This is exclusive!! The new Taliban training center!!!


Joke Of The Day:
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

Meeting People Is Good But...

Meeting things sometimes sucks...
Like meeting a golf cart...


Meeting some ice...


Or maybe a piece of wood...


Meet the pole...


And a wee bit of tarmac for dessert...


Joke Of The Day:
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

I Think I Have A Great Idea...

I need to get a BMX!! People are having so much fun with these...


Going to church can be funny even though I rather sleep in on Sundays...


The other day I saw that movie called "Don't mess with the Zohan"... I thought it was kind of crap... Here is another one... Don't mess with Santa...


I don't know if you use courier companies but here is a good reason not to use FEDEX...


I love this one... Coming out of work on Friday and going back on Monday...


If you are tight arsed do not trust your mobile phone...


This has to be one of the most embarrassing TV moments ever...


Joke Of The Day:

There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief.

So the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief.

The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted.

The wise man emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wise man says, "Big Chief no Fart."

The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wise man comes out and says,"Big Chief no Fart."

The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans.

At the end of the day the wise man comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"

A Part For The Last Video On This Post

All the clips here are coming from a TV show in the UK called "You've Been Framed"...
Here is the first one...


Some Ownages...


Some Pwnages...


More Bangs...


When the owned gets though...


This is a bit different, bits of commercials, quite funny...


Joke Of The Day:

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said “Santa, will you stay with me?”, Santa replied, “Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys.”

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

“Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys.”

She takes off everything and says “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

Santa replies “Gotta stay, gotta stay, can’t get up the chimney with my dick this way!”

Life's Mathematics...

Everything in life is linked to mathematics. Well at least that is what that liar that you call your old math teacher said.
Come to think of it, that old fart might have been right after all...
Let see...
Hmmm...
First operation: Bike + Fatty =


Second one: Bike + Retard =


Third one: (Bike + Idiot) * Dangerous Cliff =


Fourth one: (Bike + Picnic Table) / Drunk guy =


Fifth one: (Bike + Balancing idiot) ^3 =


Sixth one: (Cop + DUI)(Idiot - Thin walls) =


Seventh one: (Beer + Keg) / Idiot =


Eight one: (Pole + Dance) + Wannabe stripper =


Ninth one: (Soda + Machine) * Idiot =


Tenth one: (Water - Boat) / (Idiot + Weird floating thing) =


So to recapitulate...
IDIOT + WHATSOEVER =

It's Summer Time!!

Let's go to the swimming pool and look like complete twats!!!
Twat Number One:



Twat Number Two:



Twat Number Three:



Twat Number Four:



Twat Number Five:



Twat Number Six:



Twat Number Seven:

Why Not...

Seems that there is a tendency lately of people laughing at others failure...
I fucking know because I'm one of them...
So there you, Went on the net and collected some FAIL pictures for you...
Go on...
Have a laugh...
You know you want it!!
The Stairs FAIL:


The balcony Fail:


The Track And Field FAIL:


The Coke FAIL:


The cow FAIL:


The red shoes FAIL:


The cyclist lane FAIL:


The vintage bike FAIL:


The fireman FAIL:


The Canadian McDonald's FAIL:


The Will Smith FAIL:


A dog and tyre FAIL:


A cat and a ball FAIL:


The moon FAIL:


The dance FAIL:


The blond FAIL:


The airplane security test FAIL:


The dogfood advertizing FAIL:


The gay basket ball player FAIL:


The mecanic FAIL:


The WTFAIL?


The baby chair FAIL:


The baseball player FAIL:


The horny mouse FAIL:


The jumping cat FAIL:


The floppy disk FAIL:


Teh rufungh FIAL:

Ok, that would be it for today but will have more for you tomorrow...