IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story (Part Deux).

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#6:


Joke Of The Day:
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story.

Here it goes...
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#2:


#3:


#4:


#5:


#6:


Joke Of The Day:
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

Here Comes Monday Again!!!

Well some babies are just sitting around doing fuck all just looking cute but not this one...


You can send this one to your male friends!! Britney having it!! Not...


This must be most embarrassing situation ever...


Here is the ultimate proof that dogs are more intelligent than cats... Take that cat lady!!!


This is exclusive!! The new Taliban training center!!!


Joke Of The Day:
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.

Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.''

So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution."

''Why?' asked the head nurse.

"Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."

Meeting People Is Good But...

Meeting things sometimes sucks...
Like meeting a golf cart...


Meeting some ice...


Or maybe a piece of wood...


Meet the pole...


And a wee bit of tarmac for dessert...


Joke Of The Day:
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.

Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."

The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"

Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."

"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.

"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

I Think I Have A Great Idea...

I need to get a BMX!! People are having so much fun with these...


Going to church can be funny even though I rather sleep in on Sundays...


The other day I saw that movie called "Don't mess with the Zohan"... I thought it was kind of crap... Here is another one... Don't mess with Santa...


I don't know if you use courier companies but here is a good reason not to use FEDEX...


I love this one... Coming out of work on Friday and going back on Monday...


If you are tight arsed do not trust your mobile phone...


This has to be one of the most embarrassing TV moments ever...


Joke Of The Day:

There is an old Indian Tribe in the Amazon and their chief is getting old and a new, young challenger wants to be chief.

So the wise man of the tribe decides that whoever produces the loudest fart in a week will be chief.

The first few days pass and neither the chief or his young rival have farted.

The wise man emerges and says, "Big Chief no Fart." The next day a truck load of baked beans arrives for the Chief, but at the end of the day the wise man says, "Big Chief no Fart."

The next day, three truckloads arrives for the Chief, but again the wise man comes out and says,"Big Chief no Fart."

The Chief is becoming frustrated and orders an army of trucks loaded with baked beans.

At the end of the day the wise man comes out and says... "Big Fart, no Chief!"

A Part For The Last Video On This Post

All the clips here are coming from a TV show in the UK called "You've Been Framed"...
Here is the first one...


Some Ownages...


Some Pwnages...


More Bangs...


When the owned gets though...


This is a bit different, bits of commercials, quite funny...


Joke Of The Day:

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said “Santa, will you stay with me?”, Santa replied, “Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys.”

So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

“Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to gook girls and boys.”

She takes off everything and says “Santa, now will you stay with me?”

Santa replies “Gotta stay, gotta stay, can’t get up the chimney with my dick this way!”

Today Is Bastille Day...

And I'm working...
Sux...
Anyway...
I'm sure you all have seen girls wearing these pants with some writing on the ass bit. You know, like "Cute" when the girl's ass is so big it has its own zip code. Well at least here is one that says the truth (And please notice the ugly one that is wearing a white T_Shirt, a white short, white shoes and black socks):


I was watching a program at the week end, it was about bull fighting. Remind me of a story I heard. A guy went to Spain and was happily touristing... Went to see a bull fight, saw the massacre and was ok about it. Then after that he went to a small restaurant beside the arena, as he was eating, he saw a guy that was eating something he never saw before. It looked really good. He called upon the waiter and asked him what it was that the guy was eating. The waiter answered: "This is las couillas de la corrida. Las bollas del toro", aka the bull's balls. The waiter added that it was very rare delicassy. So the guy ask to have some to which the waiter answer that there was only one bull killed during the fight and that they were out of it. So the guy asked if he could make a reservation for the next Sunday, the waiter said that there was no problems at all. So the guy waited all week. On the Sunday, the guy was so impatient that he actually by-passed the bull fight and went to restaurant directly, asked for las couillas de la corrida. When the waiter came in with plate, the guy was quite surprised by what he saw and said to the waiter, "Hm... Last Sunday the plate was full of meat and stuff but today it is rather empty..." to what the waiter answered "Well the matador doesn't win every Sunday you know"...


Sometimes people have weird ideas... Like having kids... Eating at McDonald's... Smocking when pregnant... Become French president... But what about these guys...



Now, there is jobs around that need courage to do. And of the most awful one must be...
COP!!
People insult you, usually you need really low mental capabilities so if you're clever you will never do good in that job, you are usually fat because of the 1200 donuts a week diet...


The following guy gonna get so fired... Even though I would love to do something like that knowing I'm leaving the company I work for... Hold on... wait... I've done it...



Do you like walking in the woods? I do. I like to walk in the wood when it is very warm outside and that you can enjoy the freshness of the trees, smell the damp leaves. But then something horrible might happen... You need to have a shit. Worst thing ever in the woods...


Some people always think that things like diseases, accidents always happen to someone else, like this guy most likely think that only women gets cancer...


I don't like hunting and I hate hunters. Which is weird as I love meat... Really. Can't spend a day without meat... I have nothing against vegans though... Just that salad is much better with a bit of steak. So here is a deer getting some revenge...



Seems that in the UK people have a really big sense of humour. No seriously. I know, they have a queen and all that crap. But hey... They have Prince Charles, you really need a good sense of humour to deal with this guy. Here is another example of their sense of humour...


But what I admire, is people that will do things just for the pleasure of pissing people off...
A bit like me...