Are You Embarrassed?

Well these people had to go through surgery so that they can't be recognized in the street. This guy want to spice it up in bed...


To forget the national anthem is one thing but...


You're cute, you're blonde and you don't like water...


There is always one around...


Another classic treadmill...


Joke Of The Day:
I know I haven't known you very long and I shouldn't be asking you for this so soon, but I really need it badly. I haven't had it for a while and I can already feel it going in good and hard and coming out nice and soft. If you would do this for me no one would ever know. I am sure you can satisfy my needs and I'd be very grateful if you would. I am very desperate and I need your help. You must think by now that I have a lot of nerve but I can feel my tongue wrapping around it and sucking out all the juices until it's very dry. I am not going to beat around the bush any longer so...

Do you have a piece of gum?

The BF (Ball In Face) Files...

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Joke Of The Day:
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!"

Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill.

"That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says.

"Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."

For All Who Think That Drink And Drive Is Okay...

Listen up... Today I heard that one of the guys I went to school with died. How did he die? Some drunken bastard ran him over with a car. Why did I use the word bastard? Because that cunt was drunk as a skunk. Now, this guy killed him, left a widow with three kids... So before you go and think it is okay to have a few and drive... Watch these and think!!!

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IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story (Part Deux).

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Joke Of The Day:
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'

"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."

"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."

"What is that, my son?"

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

IDIOTS! A Faceplants Story.

Here it goes...
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Joke Of The Day:
This farmer has 500 hens but no rooster so he goes to his neighbor and asks him if he could buy a rooster for $100.

The neighbor says, "You can have this rooster. His name's Roy. He'll get all your hens pregnant. He's a real stud."

So the farmer takes him home and says, "It's your first day so take it slow, okay?"

The farmer puts Roy in the hen house and then hears all the hens crying and yelling. Roy nailed every one of those hens and then nailed a duck and a goose at a pond.

The next morning the farmer finds Roy lying dead with his legs sticking in the air and buzzards circling overhead.

The farmer says, "Roy, did you have to die?"

Roy says, "Quiet! They're about to land!"

AnyDumb People In The Crowd?

Well, if not I have a few for you...
I have to confess, I haven't talked to my father for a very, very long time. Why? Because he's an asshole. I guess this kid will not talk to his dad for a while, at least not for the same reason...


The main thing with dumb people is that they have an incredible ability to hurt themselves in the weirdest ways...


It is very easy to recognize when a dumb person is behind the wheel. What amaze me even more is how on hearth they managed to get a driving license...


The problem with dumb people is that when they have a bad idea they think that it is a good idea. Like this one, that is not the best way to avoid paying the toll on the highway...


But the thing that you have to remember about the dumb people is that they are all around us... Beware!!


Joke Of The Day:
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

People Shouldn't Do...

TV Shows if they can't go down the stairs...


Car pooling when you have a bike...


Cycle when you are blind as a bat...


Tea when they are blondes...


Ride a bike if they are complete morons...


Joke Of The Day:
Q: What is the difference between Liverpool football and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.